Intent: Models & Theories
- personal995
- Jun 2, 2024
- 12 min read
Updated: Dec 11, 2025
Index
Purpose
Intent: Models & Theories is a section of Intent.
This page and section exists to provide useful tools for understanding, exploring, and curating your relationships Intent.
The more useful Models & Theories you have in your mental toolkit, the more prepared you will be to make quality decisions amongst complexity.
Introduction
Models & Theories are essential tools for understanding, exploring, and interacting with the world around us. They help us unlock the mysteries of nature, solve practical problems, and drive progress and innovation in various fields of human endeavor.
With that in mind, first we want to align this with what we are trying to achieve. Ultimately we want to grow and achieve our Goals. The Models & Theories then, need to help us to formulate strategic plans that can do just so.
The thing with strategic plans is they are more often than not dealing with systems of chaos (human nature, environments, economies, complex adaptive systems etc), and as such can not be completely fixed. They need to be adaptable.
Dwight D. Eisenhower, the American military officer and statesman, once said, "In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable."
There are very few perfect models or theories that suit every situation. Every individual's unique goals have specific requirements to successfully execute them.
However, there are often general, timeless, adaptable or customisable Models & Theories that can be utilised to begin building momentum, or which are suitable to create from, a unique and flexible strategic plan.
These Models & Theories are selected and continually curated with this aim in mind.
Get creative. Use the Models & Theories verbatim, if they serve you in that form. If not, use them purely as idea generators, as partials to build upon or as starting points to adapt and customise.
If none specifically suit, move on to the Self Review, Lessons and Case Studies and create your own working model.
Process
With your Values and Goals front of mind, what is it you are aiming to do or achieve? Once you have that clear for yourself:
Review all the Models & Theories below. Do any appear to provide the beginnings of a structure you can use as a strategic plan?
If so, start working through the steps and build momentum, adapting as it suits for your specific situation.
If not, do some partial aspects or a sum of parts approach to help you customise a strategic plan?
If still not, move on to the Self Review, Lessons and Case Studies and create your own working model.
Models & Theories
1. On the GROW Model
Summary: The GROW model is a coaching and communication tool designed to facilitate goal-setting and problem-solving conversations. In this case of planning the intent of communication it can be a useful planning tool. The acronym GROW stands for Goal, Reality, Obstacles, Options, and Will.
Here's a brief overview of the GROW model, in the context of communication preparations:
Goal:
Overview: Clearly define the specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goal for the conversation.
Communication Preparation: Identify the objective of the communication. What do you want to achieve or discuss during the conversation? Be specific about the desired outcome.
Reality:
Overview: Assess the current situation or reality related to the goal. Encourages an objective examination of the present circumstances.
Communication Preparation: Analyze the current state of affairs. What is the context or background of the conversation? Consider any challenges or factors that may impact the communication. This step helps in understanding the starting point and potential obstacles.
Obstacles (O1 - Obstacles to the Goal):
Overview: Identify and explore the obstacles or challenges that may hinder progress toward the goal.
Communication Preparation: Anticipate potential obstacles in the communication process. These could include misunderstandings, resistance, emotional barriers, or external factors. Plan strategies to address or navigate these obstacles during the conversation.
Options (O2 - Options for Action):
Overview: Generate a range of possible solutions or actions to overcome the identified obstacles and move toward the goal.
Communication Preparation: Develop a list of options for addressing potential obstacles and achieving the communication goal. Consider various approaches, alternative perspectives, and communication strategies. This step encourages creativity and flexibility in finding effective solutions.
Will:
Overview: Determine the commitment and actions required to implement the chosen options.
Communication Preparation: Clarify the specific actions or steps that need to be taken during or after the conversation to achieve the communication goal. Consider what commitments are needed from both parties involved.
Conclusion: In summary, when using the GROW model for communication preparations, the 'O's play a crucial role in identifying obstacles that may hinder effective communication and generating a variety of options to address those obstacles. This approach helps individuals and teams plan their communication strategies more effectively, fostering a proactive and solution-oriented mindset.
2. On Active Listening
Summary: Active Listening is a communication technique that involves fully focusing, understanding, and responding to a speaker. While it doesn't follow a specifically structured model, there are steps and principles to enhance effective communication.
Here's an overview of Active Listening and how it can be applied in communication preparations:
Prepare Mentally:
Overview: Clear your mind of distractions and biases before the conversation.
Communication Preparation: Reflect on the purpose of the conversation and set aside preconceived notions. Be open to fully engaging with the speaker.
Create a Conducive Environment:
Overview: Ensure the physical and psychological setting supports open and comfortable communication.
Communication Preparation: Choose a quiet and private space, minimize interruptions, and show non-verbal cues (e.g., open body language) that indicate attentiveness.
Show Non-Verbal Cues:
Overview: Demonstrate through body language and facial expressions that you are actively engaged.
Communication Preparation: Consider how your non-verbal cues, such as eye contact, posture, and gestures, can convey your interest and attentiveness during the conversation.
Paraphrase and Reflect:
Overview: Repeat or rephrase the speaker's words to confirm understanding and show empathy.
Communication Preparation: Practice paraphrasing as a tool to check comprehension. Consider how to reflect the speaker's feelings and concerns.
Ask Clarifying Questions:
Overview: Seek additional information or clarification to ensure a complete understanding.
Communication Preparation: Anticipate areas where clarification might be needed and plan questions to gather more information without making assumptions.
Summarize:
Overview: Recap the main points to demonstrate active engagement and understanding.
Communication Preparation: Plan to summarize key points at appropriate intervals during the conversation. This helps reinforce understanding and keeps the communication on track.
Avoid Interrupting:
Overview: Refrain from interrupting the speaker and allow them to express themselves fully.
Communication Preparation: Remind yourself not to interrupt and let the speaker finish their thoughts before responding. This shows respect and encourages open dialogue.
Empathize:
Overview: Pay attention to the speaker's emotions and perspectives.
Communication Preparation: Consider how to express empathy without judgment. Plan responses that convey understanding and support.
Conclusion: By incorporating these steps into communication preparations, individuals can create a foundation for effective dialogue. Active Listening is a valuable skill in fostering understanding, building rapport, and addressing concerns, making it an essential component of communication planning for various contexts.
3. On Paul Ekman’s Microexpressions Theory
Summary: Paul Ekman’s Microexpressions Theory is a groundbreaking model for detecting hidden emotions through fleeting facial expressions. Microexpressions are involuntary, brief facial expressions (lasting 1/25 to 1/5 of a second) that reveal a person’s true emotions before they consciously control their response. Since these expressions occur instinctively, they provide an authentic glimpse into a person's feelings, even when they attempt to mask them.
Ekman’s research identified seven universal facial expressions— happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, disgust, and contempt—recognized across all cultures. Mastering microexpression reading can help in personal interactions, negotiations, interviews, leadership, and even detecting deception.
Overview of the Seven Universal Microexpressions
1. Happiness
Appearance:
Crow’s feet wrinkles near the eyes.
Cheeks lifted.
Upward lip corners (a genuine smile).
Real vs. Fake Smile:
A genuine smile (Duchenne smile) involves the eyes; a fake smile does not.
2. Sadness
Appearance:
Drooping eyelids.
Inner corners of eyebrows raised.
Slight downward lip pull.
What It Signals:
Genuine sadness, disappointment, or grief.
If brief, could indicate suppressed emotions.
3. Anger
Appearance:
Eyebrows lowered and drawn together.
Lips pressed firmly.
Nostrils flaring.
Intense eye focus.
What It Signals:
Frustration, aggression, or determination.
Even if momentary, suggests underlying tension.
4. Surprise
Appearance:
Eyebrows raised.
Eyes widened.
Mouth slightly open.
What It Signals:
Shock, amazement, or unexpected information.
If brief, could indicate quickly suppressed emotion.
5. Fear
Appearance:
Raised eyebrows (but straighter than in surprise).
Eyes wide open.
Mouth slightly open or stretched.
What It Signals:
Anxiety, threat detection, or danger perception.
Even fleeting fear can indicate hidden concerns.
6. Disgust
Appearance:
Upper lip raised.
Nose slightly wrinkled.
Lower lip pushed out.
What It Signals:
Disapproval, revulsion, or rejection.
Often linked to moral or sensory disgust.
7. Contempt
Appearance:
One side of the mouth slightly raised.
Often asymmetric, unlike disgust.
What It Signals:
Superiority, scorn, or disdain.
Subtle but very telling of hidden judgment.
Steps to Utilize Microexpression Reading
Step 1: Train Your Eye to Detect Microexpressions
Watch slow-motion videos of facial expressions to notice the subtle cues.
Use real-life interactions to practice spotting fleeting expressions.
Focus on moments when people receive unexpected or emotional information.
Step 2: Observe Context and Baseline Behavior
People express emotions differently, so first establish their normal expressions.
Compare their usual demeanor with any sudden, quick facial shifts.
Pay attention to when microexpressions occur—are they contradicting spoken words?
Step 3: Identify Emotional Leaks
Look for inconsistencies between facial expressions and verbal communication.
Example: Someone saying “I’m fine” but showing a brief flash of sadness or anger.
Detect suppressed emotions in high-stakes situations (interviews, negotiations, conflicts).
Step 4: Adjust Your Approach Based on Observations
If you detect fear, offer reassurance.
If you see anger, acknowledge concerns before escalating a discussion.
If someone shows contempt, address underlying issues directly.
If a person displays disgust, clarify their concerns.
Step 5: Avoid Misinterpretation
One microexpression alone does not confirm deception—it only signals emotion.
Consider cultural differences in emotional expression intensity.
Pair microexpression analysis with body language and verbal cues for accuracy.
Practical Applications
In Business & Negotiation
Spot discomfort in a deal before the other party verbalizes it.
Recognize fake smiles in networking situations.
Identify underlying frustration in clients or employees.
In Leadership & Team Dynamics
Detect unspoken resistance to new ideas.
Identify stress or anxiety in team members before it affects performance.
Recognize who is genuinely engaged in discussions.
In Personal Relationships
Understand when someone is masking sadness or frustration.
Detect hidden contempt in relationships, which is a key predictor of conflicts.
Identify when children or partners are suppressing emotions.
In Law Enforcement & Security
Detect possible deception by spotting conflicting emotions.
Recognize fear in witnesses or suspects during questioning.
Use emotional cues to guide further questioning.
Conclusion
Paul Ekman’s Microexpressions Theory provides an invaluable tool for reading unspoken emotions in real-time. Since these brief facial expressions occur before conscious thought can mask them, they offer a rare glimpse into a person’s true feelings.
By training yourself to recognize and interpret these signals, you can enhance your communication skills, build stronger relationships, and gain an edge in professional and personal interactions. However, microexpressions should always be interpreted within context, alongside other behavioral cues, to avoid misjudgments.
4. On Motivational Interviewing (MI)
Summary: Motivational Interviewing (MI) is a client-centered communication style aimed at helping individuals explore and resolve ambivalence about behavior change. While MI is commonly used in the context of counseling and healthcare, its principles can be applied to various communication scenarios. As opposed to being a strict technique, MI is aimed at facilitating interpersonal relationships.
Here's an overview of Motivational Interviewing and how it can be used in communication preparations:
Assess Current Behavior and Goals:
Overview: Understand the individual's current behavior and their goals or values.
Communication Preparation: Gather information about the individual's situation, challenges, and aspirations. Consider what motivates them and how their behavior aligns or conflicts with their goals.
Identify Discrepancies:
Overview: Recognize any discrepancies between the individual's behavior and their stated goals or values.
Communication Preparation: Plan how to gently explore these discrepancies, keeping in mind that the goal is to create awareness without inducing resistance.
Anticipate and Respond to Resistance:
Overview: Be prepared to encounter resistance and plan non-confrontational responses.
Communication Preparation: Identify potential areas of resistance and plan how to respond with empathy and understanding, encouraging open dialogue rather than shutting it down.
Reinforce Self-Efficacy:
Overview: Reinforce the individual's belief in their ability to make positive changes.
Communication Preparation: Consider how to highlight the individual's strengths, past successes, and their capacity to overcome challenges. Plan supportive and empowering language.
Conclusion: By integrating Motivational Interviewing principles into communication preparations, individuals can create a supportive and collaborative environment that fosters positive change and goal achievement.
5. On Influencing and Negotiating
Summary: When it comes to influencing and negotiating, there are specific models and theories that can aid in the preplanning phase.
Here are some noteworthy options to consider and review:
BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement):
Identify your BATNA, which is your best course of action if a negotiation fails.
Helps in assessing the strength of your negotiating position.
SWOT Analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats):
Evaluate your internal strengths and weaknesses as well as external opportunities and threats.
Useful for strategic planning before negotiations.
Principled Negotiation (Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury):
Separate people from the problem.
Focus on interests, not positions.
Generate options for mutual gain.
Insist on using objective criteria.
The Harvard Negotiation Project's Seven Elements Framework:
Relationships: Consider the impact of relationships on the negotiation.
Interests: Identify the underlying interests of both parties.
Options: Explore multiple options before settling.
Legitimacy: Ensure the agreement aligns with fair standards.
Alternatives: Know your and the other party's alternatives.
Commitment: Make clear commitments.
Communication: Establish effective communication.
The Negotiation Planning Template:
Define your objectives: Clearly outline what you want to achieve.
Assess the other party's interests: Understand their needs and motivations.
Identify alternatives: Have backup plans or alternatives.
Analyze potential concessions: Determine what you're willing to give up.
Develop communication strategies: Plan how to convey your points effectively.
The Dual Concern Model:
Focuses on two key concerns in negotiations: your concern for your outcomes and your concern for the outcomes of the other party.
Helps in finding a balance between assertiveness and cooperation.
The Zone of Possible Agreement (ZOPA):
Identify the range of outcomes that would be acceptable to both parties.
Helps in understanding where a mutually beneficial agreement can be reached.
The Influence Model (Robert Cialdini's Six Principles of Influence):
Reciprocity, Commitment, Social Proof, Authority, Liking, Scarcity.
Understand these principles to strategically influence others.
RACI Matrix (Responsible, Accountable, Consulted, Informed):
Clarifies roles and responsibilities in decision-making processes.
Useful for managing expectations and avoiding misunderstandings.
Negotiation Styles (Competing, Collaborating, Avoiding, Accommodating, Compromising):
Understand your and the other party's preferred negotiation style.
Adjust your approach based on the situation and the personalities involved.
Conclusion: These models can provide a structured framework for planning and executing effective negotiations and influencing strategies. Remember that adaptability is crucial, and you may need to blend elements from different models based on the specific context and dynamics of each negotiation or influencing scenario (see next section - ‘On Specific Scenarios’ for more on the potential to combine these strategies).
6. On Specific Scenarios
Summary: The effectiveness of negotiation and influence models can depend on the specific context and goals of the situation. Different models may be more suitable for certain scenarios.
Here's a breakdown of how some of these models could be effectively used in various situations:
Business Negotiations:
Principled Negotiation (Getting to Yes): Effective in business negotiations where long-term relationships and mutually beneficial agreements are desired.
BATNA: Crucial in business negotiations to assess the strength of your position and make informed decisions.
SWOT Analysis: Helpful in understanding the internal and external factors that can impact negotiation outcomes.
Conflict Resolution:
The Harvard Negotiation Project's Seven Elements Framework: Useful for resolving conflicts by addressing relationships, interests, and generating options for mutual gain.
Dual Concern Model: A balanced approach can be effective for resolving conflicts where both parties need to be considered.
Collaborative Negotiation Styles: Collaboration is often essential in conflict resolution to find win-win solutions.
Escalated (Heated) Negotiation:
Active Listening: Critical in heated situations for building rapport and understanding the emotions and needs of the parties involved.
RACI Matrix: Helps clarify roles and responsibilities during critical decision-making moments.
Influence Model (Cialdini's Principles): Useful for gaining compliance and cooperation in high-pressure situations.
Influencing Strategies:
Influence Model (Cialdini's Six Principles): Effective in various situations where the goal is to influence others positively.
Zone of Possible Agreement (ZOPA): Useful for finding common ground and influencing others to reach mutually acceptable outcomes.
Negotiation Styles: Tailoring your influencing approach based on the context and personalities involved.
Strategic Planning:
SWOT Analysis: Essential for strategic planning to assess internal and external factors that may affect the success of your plans.
Negotiation Planning Template: Ideal for planning and organizing your approach to negotiations or strategic initiatives.
Appreciative Inquiry: Can be used to focus on strengths and positive aspects in the planning process.
Conclusion: It's important to note that these models are not mutually exclusive, and a combination of approaches may be required in complex situations. Additionally, the effectiveness of any model depends on the skills of the negotiator or influencer, the dynamics of the specific situation, and the unique personalities and motivations of the parties involved. Flexibility and adaptability are key when applying these models in real-world scenarios.
By reviewing these models and theories above you can pick and choose what may work best for you and your own unique situation, try, test and refine your process to suit. To the point where you begin to see improvements and compound your results moving forward.
Output Checklist
Completed Strategic Review Worksheet from The Workbook for approaching any relationships with Intent related opportunities or challenges, guided by all key learnings from this section.
Next Steps
If you feel you have key learnings to takeaway, return to Intent: Main to integrate into your Output Checklist.
To continue to learn more, move on to Intent: Self Review.
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