Selflessness: Lessons
- personal995
- Jun 25, 2024
- 9 min read
Updated: Dec 6, 2024
Index
Introduction
No one, knows everything. We all make mistakes. We are never correct the first time, every time. What was correct yesterday, can often be wrong tomorrow. Continual learning is the only way to progress.
STRATEGY OF ONE does not have all the answers, but it can help minimise missteps. These Lessons are actions, principles, rules of thumb, cautions and cognitive frameworks you can use to help avoid traps and build momentum through each stage of life.
Continually review and take what you need. Absorb the Lessons that align with your Goals, and make them a part of your internal 'operating system'.
Each Lesson has accompanying quotes from great minds that can help us symbolise and remember the Lesson. That way we can more easily draw it from our memory as required.
The portrait that partners each quote is aimed to make you feel accountable. The individual lived, experience and made the effort to share the quote you are benefitting from. Now you can honour them by living up to it in your life and work.
Process
Review these Lessons as and when it best serves you to do so:
Review with the aim of prevention in mind. To avoid having to learn it the hard way yourself.
Review if you are stuck on a specific phase or step.
Review if you are making repetitive errors.
Review if you need inspiration and motivation.
Review if you need to review or reconstruct your Models & Theories.
Review if you are looking for inspiration for Values or Goals.
Absorb and action the Lessons:
Document the next most important Lessons for you to learn in your Action Plan.
Write them in your journal, if you journal.
Screenshot them and save them on your phone or computer background.
But most importantly, put them into action.
Whatever the Lesson you discover that you need to learn, whether positive or negative, it doesn't really matter. Again, what matters is what you do next.
Continually learn, continually improve and move forward.
Lessons
1. Authenticity is Key
Stay true to yourself and your values while serving others. Authenticity breeds trust and credibility, and it allows you to genuinely connect with those you serve.
"Your time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life."
Steve Jobs, American Businessman (1955 - 2011)
2. Find Your Unique Contribution
Identify your unique strengths, skills, and passions, and find ways to leverage them in service to others. By aligning your service with your natural talents and interests, you can make a more meaningful and impactful contribution.
"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."
Pablo Picasso, Spanish Painter (1881 - 1973)
3. Embrace Collaboration and Partnerships
Recognize that you don't have to go it alone. Collaborate with others who share your goals and values, and leverage collective strengths and resources to achieve greater impact together.
"Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success."
Stephen Covey, American Author (1932 - 2012)
4. Prioritize Self-Care
Remember that you can't pour from an empty cup. Prioritize self-care and well-being to ensure that you have the energy and resilience to continue serving others effectively in the long run.
"Self-care is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation."
Audre Lorde, American Writer and Professor (1934 - 1992)
5. Stay Connected to Your Why
Regularly revisit your reasons for serving others and the deeper purpose behind your actions. Keeping your sense of purpose front and center helps you stay motivated and focused on making a meaningful difference.
"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well."
Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Author (1803 - 1882)
6. Lead by Example
Be a role model for others by embodying the values of service, selflessness, and compassion in your own life. Your actions speak louder than words, and by living according to your principles, you inspire others to do the same.
"The best way to lead is by example."
Winston Churchill, British Statesman (1874 - 1965)
7. Practice Empathy and Compassion
Cultivate empathy and compassion in your interactions with others. Seek to understand the experiences and emotions of those you serve, and approach your service with a genuine desire to alleviate suffering and promote well-being.
"Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength."
Tenzin Gyatso, The Dalai Lama (1935 - )
8. Build Trust Through Transparency and Accountability
Foster trust and accountability in your relationships with those you serve by being transparent, honest, and accountable for your actions. Establish clear expectations and communicate openly about your intentions and decisions.
"Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway."
Mother Teresa, Albanian-Indian Nun (1910 - 1997)
9. Practice Acts of Kindness Daily
Start by incorporating small acts of kindness into your daily routine, whether it's helping a family member with chores, offering a listening ear to a friend in need, or expressing gratitude to those around you.
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate."
Albert Schweitzer, Alsatian Polymath (1875 - 1965)
10. Prioritize Family Time and Connection
Make quality time with your family a priority. Schedule regular family dinners, game nights, or outings to strengthen bonds and foster a sense of belonging and support within your household.
"The family is the first essential cell of human society."
Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli, Pope John XXIII (1881 - 1963)
11. Support Your Local Community
Look for ways to support and give back to your local community. Whether it's being a good neighbor, volunteering at a soup kitchen, donating to a local food bank, or participating in community events, find opportunities to make a tangible difference close to home.
"The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members."
Coretta Scott King, American Author (1927 - 2006)
12. Start Small, Think Big
Begin by making small but meaningful acts of service in your local community or within your personal network. As you gain confidence and experience, gradually expand the scope of your efforts and think about how you can make a bigger difference on a larger scale.
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."
Lao Tzu, Chinese Philosopher (6th - 5th century BCE)
13. Practice Resilience and Perseverance
Develop resilience and perseverance in the face of challenges and setbacks. Understand that setbacks are a natural part of the journey, and use them as opportunities to learn, grow, and strengthen your commitment to serving others.
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
Confucius, Chinese Philosopher (551 – 479 BCE)
14. Promote Sustainability and Long-Term Impact
Prioritize sustainability and long-term impact in your service efforts. Consider the broader implications and consequences of your actions, and strive to create lasting change that extends beyond immediate needs and circumstances.
"In the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed."
Charles Darwin, English Biologist (1809 - 1882)
15. Stay Humble and Open-Minded
Maintain a humble and open-minded attitude in your service endeavors. Recognize that there is always more to learn and ways to grow, and be receptive to feedback, new ideas, and differing perspectives.
"I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing."
Socrates, Greek Philosopher (470 – 399 BCE)
16. Celebrate the Journey, Not Just the Destination
Enjoy the process of serving others and find fulfillment in the journey itself, not just the end result. Take time to reflect on the meaningful connections you make, the lessons you learn, and the positive impact you have along the way.
"Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life."
Unknown
Cautionary Lessons
1. Beware of Self-Centeredness
Focusing solely on your own interests, goals, and desires without considering the needs and well-being of others can lead to feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction in the long run.
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."
Oscar Wilde, Irish Poet (1854 - 1900)
2. Avoid Burnout and Exhaustion
Neglecting self-care and overcommitting to serving others can result in burnout and exhaustion, ultimately diminishing your ability to make a positive impact and find fulfillment in your work.
"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time."
John Lubbock, English Polymath (1834 - 1913)
3. Watch for Inauthentic Motives
Serving others for personal gain, recognition, or validation rather than out of genuine care and compassion can erode trust and authenticity in your relationships and undermine the effectiveness of your service efforts.
"The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out."
Thomas Babington Macaulay, British Historian (1800 - 1859)
4. Avoid Tunnel Vision
Focusing solely on your own perspective and priorities without considering the broader impact of your actions on others can lead to shortsightedness and unintended consequences. Stay open to feedback and alternative viewpoints to avoid inadvertently causing harm.
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought."
Matsuo Bashō, Japanese Poet (1644 - 1694)
5. Beware of Resentment and Bitterness
Feeling resentful or bitter about the perceived lack of recognition or appreciation for your service efforts can poison your relationships and undermine your sense of purpose and fulfillment. Cultivate gratitude and focus on the intrinsic rewards of serving others.
"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies."
Nelson Mandela, South African Statesman
6. Watch for Ego Inflation
Allowing your ego to inflate in response to praise or recognition for your service efforts can lead to arrogance and entitlement, alienating others and hindering your ability to collaborate effectively.
"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right."
Ezra Taft Benson, American Farmer and Leader (1899 - 1994)
7. Watch for Unintended Consequences
Be mindful of the unintended consequences of your service efforts, the world is very complex and even the best intentions can have harmful side or ripple effects if not carefully considered. Continuously educate yourself and remain vigilant about the broader implications of your actions.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
Originally - "Hell is full of good intentions and wills."
Saint Bernard of Clairvaux, Abbot (1090 - 1153)
8. Avoid Seeking External Validation
Relying solely on external validation or approval to validate your worth and contributions can diminish your sense of intrinsic motivation and satisfaction. Cultivate a sense of self-worth that is independent of external recognition.
"Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner."
Lao Tzu, Chinese Philosopher (6th - 5th century BCE)
9. Watch for Mission Drift
Straying from your core values and mission in pursuit of external rewards or validation can compromise the integrity and effectiveness of your service efforts. Stay true to your principles and resist the temptation to compromise your values for short-term gains.
"Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching."
C.S. Lewis, British Writer (1898 - 1963)
10. Guard Against Indifference
Becoming indifferent or apathetic towards the needs and struggles of others can lead to a loss of empathy and connection, ultimately diminishing your capacity for meaningful service and fulfillment.
"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."
Elie Wiesel, Romanian-American Author (1928 - 2016)
11. Watch for Perfectionism
Striving for perfection in your service efforts can create unrealistic expectations and set you up for disappointment and frustration. Embrace imperfection and recognize that making a difference doesn't require flawless execution.
"Perfection is the enemy of progress."
Winston Churchill, British Statesman (1874 - 1965)
12. Beware of Exploitative Practices
Engaging in exploitative or manipulative practices in the name of serving others can harm vulnerable individuals and communities and undermine the trust and credibility of your service efforts. Act with integrity and ensure that your actions are ethical and respectful.
"Ethics is knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do."
Potter Stewart, American Judge (1915 - 1985)
13. Avoid Overidentifying with Your Role
Allowing your identity and sense of self-worth to become overly tied to your role as a servant or helper can lead to feelings of worthlessness and identity crisis if circumstances change or your efforts are not met with the expected response.
"Your worth consists in what you are and not in what you have."
Thomas Edison, American Businessman (1847 - 1931)
By reviewing these cautionary lessons above you can heed their warning adjust to suit, deepen your awareness of where you can improve and compound your results moving forward.
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